Have you ever had a co-worker who can’t seem to stop complaining? It can be frustrating, especially if the complaining gets in the way of your work.
In this blog, we’ll be discussing how to deal with co-workers who complain a lot and provide tips on how to get them to stop.
We’ll also discuss 3 types of complainers, how to identify a pattern in their complaints, and how to set boundaries with them.
Last but not least, we’ll discuss how to involve the boss if you want to get serious about dealing with the complainer.
So whether you’re seeking guidance on dealing with a complainer yourself, or just wanting to hear about other people’s experiences, read on!
3 Types of Complainers
There are three types of complainers:
Problem-Focused Complainer
Complaining is a natural human behavior that can serve as both a positive and negative force in our lives.
Some people complain to highlight a problem and motivate others to take action. In contrast, others complain about the sake of complaining about little or no intention of taking action to resolve the issue.
According to recent research, the problem-focused complainer is the most constructive type of complainer, as they identify a specific issue and take action to resolve it.
Emotion-Focused Complainer
Complaining is typical, but some people take it to the extreme. These people are known as “emotion-focused complainers.”
They complain not just to get relief from their negative feelings but also to get attention and support from others. Emotion-focused complainers often have low self-esteem and feel powerless in their lives. They can be frustrating to deal with, but they may also be more likely to change their behavior if given feedback and support.
This type of complainer often causes tension and conflict in relationships.
Indifferent Complainer
Do you know someone who complains about everything but doesn’t do anything to change their situation? Do they always have a reason why they can’t do something and never take any personal responsibility for their actions? If so, you’re probably dealing with an indifferent complainer.
Indifferent complainers are individuals who complain about everything but don’t care about the issue at hand.
For example, an indifferent complainer might complain that their job is too demanding, but they won’t quit because they need the money. Or, they might gripe about how there aren’t enough good men out there, but they won’t put themselves out there to meet new people.
Indifferent complainers can be frustrating to deal with because all of their complaints seem like it’s just a way to make themselves feel better.
Start By Listening To What They Have To Say
If the person has something constructive to add, be open to hearing it. If not, try to remember that not everyone will feel the same way about things and that there is no need to take everything they say personally.
Try To Understand Why The Co-Worker Is Complaining
There could be a lot of reasons why a co-worker is complaining. Maybe they’re experiencing some personal challenges and want to share them with their co-workers.
Maybe they feel like their concerns are not being taken seriously or heard attentively by their team members.
Whatever the reason, it’s essential to try to understand it and empathize with the co-worker. Hopefully, this will help them feel understood and less frustrated.
Connect & Communicate
Connect and communicate with your co-workers to find a way to work together harmoniously
Tips For Dealing With Co-workers Who Complain A Lot
Be Patient
It can be difficult when someone in the workplace complains constantly, but it is essential to remember that everyone has different preferences and ways of dealing with stress. Try not to take things personally and instead focus on resolving the issue.
Listen Carefully
You can do a few things to deal with co-workers who constantly complain.
First, try to understand why they feel the need to complain. Sometimes, it can be challenging to cope with negative feelings, so complaining is a way of alleviating those emotions.
Second, be understanding and supportive when they do share their frustrations.
Finally, take time for yourself to avoid being drawn into their complaints.
Understand Where The Complainer May Be Coming From
Complaining can sometimes feel like a pointless and uphill battle, but it’s important to remember that everyone is human.
When addressing complaints, being gentle, understanding, and patient is essential. This will help defuse the situation quickly and prevent any conflict from escalating.
It is also essential to try and understand the complainer’s perspective before responding.
Sometimes people complain for reasons that are not necessarily warranted- for example, they might want someone to listen without judging them or providing solutions right away.
In these cases, it’s okay to let the complainer talk until they have calmed down a bit; then, you can offer your feedback open-mindedly.
Look For A Pattern
Regarding co-workers who complain a lot, it’s essential to look for a pattern. Are they always negative? Do they constantly find fault with everything? If so, you may need to take some action. However, before doing anything, it’s essential to understand the reason behind their complaining.
In many cases, people who complain a lot are dealing with a lot of stress or problems in their lives. Maybe they’re going through a tough time at home or work. In these cases, the best thing you can do is be supportive and understanding.
If you can’t seem to get through to your co-worker or if their complaining negatively impacts your work, you may need to take more drastic measures.
Consider Calling Out The Behavior If You Have A Close Relationship
When it comes to confronting someone who is behaving out, it’s often tricky. It is tough when you care about that person and want them to change for the better, but their behavior continues unabated.
If confrontation is something that you feel ready and able to do, be patient. It will take time, but eventually, it will work – hopefully giving you the peace of mind that your loved one is on the road to recovery.
To avoid making things unnecessarily complicated or hurtful, name-calling or insults are usually ineffective in getting people’s attention or motivation towards change (or anything else).
Calling out their behavior clearly and concisely can help get them started on the path back towards healthy living.
Give The Complainer Context
Often, a complainer wants someone else to take care of their problem for them. When you understand this fact, it becomes easier to address the complaint calmly and respectfully.
First, try to understand the root of the complaint. What exactly are they looking for? Are they after sympathy or validation? Once you know that, it’s easier to offer solutions that fit those needs – not your plan or opinions!
Complainers need to be given context to understand their complaints. This means providing information about the situation at hand- whether that is what happened specifically, how long it’s been going on, etc.
By giving complainers the information they need- along with empathy and patience- you will help them resolve their issues as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Find Easy and Manageable Solutions
Sometimes people complain because they feel they have been wronged or need to vent. Once you understand their feelings, try to find a solution that works for both parties. If the complainer is unwilling to solve the problem, you may need to speak with their supervisor.
Set Boundaries
If you find yourself constantly fielding complaints from a co-worker, it may be time to set some boundaries.
Let the co-worker know that you’re happy to help when you can but that you need to focus on your work. If the complaints become too frequent or disruptive, politely explain that you need to end the conversation.
If the behavior continues, talk to your supervisor about how best to handle the situation. Ultimately, it’s important to remember that you can only control your behavior – not that of others.
Withdraw Attention
It’s tough when you have to work with someone who constantly complains. They can bring down your mood and make the day drag on.
If this person is a co-worker, here are a few tips for dealing with them:
- Try to ignore them as much as possible. This may be not easy if they are constantly on your face, but if you manage not to engage them, it will make things easier for you.
- If they bother or distract you from your work, politely ask them to stop. It’s essential to be assertive and let them know that their behavior is not acceptable.
- If they continue to complain after you’ve asked them to stop, or if their complaints harm your work, then it may be best to withdraw attention entirely.
Approach Delicately
When you have a co-worker who complains a lot, knowing how to approach the situation can be challenging. On the one hand, you may want to try to help them solve the problem, but on the other, you may find their complaining disruptive and drain.
If your co-worker’s complaints are impacting your productivity or causing tension in the workplace, it may be necessary to take a step back and approach the situation delicately.
Here are a few tips for dealing with co-workers who complain a lot:
- Try to understand what they’re complaining about. Often, there is a kernel of truth in even the most exaggerated complaint. By taking the time to understand what your co-worker is upset about, you may be able to provide helpful feedback or suggest potential solutions.
- Acknowledge their feelings.
Involve The Boss
The best way to deal with the situation is to involve your boss. This will help to ensure that the complaining doesn’t disrupt the workplace or affect your relationship with your boss.
In some cases, the complainer may need guidance or support.
You can assess the situation and determine the best way to proceed by involving your boss.
Conclusion
Complaining can be draining, especially when it comes to work-related issues. However, with some understanding and patience, you can manage the complainer in your workplace and improve the work-life balance for all involved.
This blog has outlined different strategies for dealing with different types of complainers.
So, whether you are the complainer or the one being complained about, read on and get ready to put your complaining skills to good use!
FAQs | Chronic Complaining Co-Worker
How do you politely avoid a co-worker?
There are a few ways to avoid a co-worker who complains politely. One option is to try and schedule time with them away from work so that the complaining can be avoided. Another option is to respectfully but firmly put an end to their complaints. If necessary, it may be best to speak with their manager about the issue.
Why do co-workers like to start unnecessary drama?
Some people enjoy stirring up trouble and complaining. It’s a way for them to feel important like they’re doing something proactive. But it can also be frustrating for everyone else around them.
If you’re dealing with a co-worker who tends to complain, the best thing to do is try to ignore them. You can always speak up and tell them if they start making too much noise or disrupting the work environment.
How do I deal with a co-worker that keeps complaining to me all the time?
It can be tough to deal with someone who constantly Complains.
The best thing to do is try and refrain from engaging in the Complaining behavior yourself. Ignore the complainer, and if they continue to complain, it may be helpful to discuss why their attitude is causing problems at work.
If that doesn’t work, it may be helpful to approach the complainer privately and offer a suggestion to help them ease their discomfort.
If attempted conversation or solutions do not work, it may be helpful to document the complainer’s complaints and track when and how they occur to understand the problem better.
How to deal with a very negative co-worker?
The first step is assessing your personality and seeing if you are more likely to react positively or negatively to complaints. If you are more likely to respond positively, then try to be understanding and forgiving when someone complains. However, if you tend to react negatively, it may be best to distance yourself from the negative person.
How can I manage negative behavior from my co-workers?
There are a few things that you can do to deal with co-workers who complain a lot. One thing that you can do is try to keep a positive attitude towards your co-workers. This will help them feel appreciated and hopefully encourage them to stop complaining. Another thing you can do is try to eliminate the sources of complaint from your work area. If there are things that are causing your co-workers to complain, try to get rid of or change those things. You could try to organize the work area, give feedback, or set up systems to help people get problems resolved quickly.
How do you tell an employee to stop complaining?
The first step is to try to understand why the employee is complaining. Maybe something is going on at work that is causing them stress. Once you’ve identified the source of the problem, you can work with the employee to find a solution. If the complaining is simply a habit, you may need to set some boundaries. Explain that you appreciate their feedback, but ask them to refrain from complaining in the office.
Featured Photo Credit: LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash
