If you’re planning on tying the knot soon, there are some conversations you should have with your significant other before you get married.
People need to be clear about their expectations to make the best choices when it comes to marriage. That can mean having a serious discussion before you get married. One of the most important conversations they should have is with the person they will marry.
One of the most powerful and relevant questions is to ask, “How do you feel about what we’re doing?”
This is an important conversation not just because it gives you an insight into your partner’s current situation but also because it gives your partner an honest insight into where they are coming from and where they think your relationship will go.
In my view, we need our partners to be as honest as possible with us before we get married (at least in terms of how they feel), and that means making sure that they understand our values, wants and needs well enough before we start dating.
Getting married is a big decision, and you must have all the information that you need before you say “yes.” This includes conversing with your partner about what they want in a relationship.
Here are 8 conversations that you should have with your partner before marriage:
What is Your Vision For Marriage?
Talk about your vision for marriage before you get married. What are your hopes and expectations? Do you want to have a traditional marriage or something more unique? Share your thoughts with your partner so that you are on the same page.
Be open to change. As your relationship grows, you’ll likely come up with new ideas about what makes a great marriage.
If one of you feels like a traditional marriage is not right for them, be open to changing things. This is an important part of healthy marital growth.
What Are Your Thoughts on Monogamy?
Monogamy is a big decision for both individuals. If someone is asking you to be monogamous, it’s important to get all of their thoughts on the matter.
Do they believe in monogamy, or are they open to the idea of an open relationship? Are they interested in having children at some point? All of these questions are important to consider before making any commitments.
What is Your Definition of a “Happy Marriage”?
Talk about what you both believe is necessary for a happy marriage. Is it shared interests, being able to communicate openly, etc.?
Ask your partner if they would be willing to share their definition of a happy marriage with you.
This can help you better understand what is important to each other and could lead to a more fulfilling relationship.
What is Your Definition of “Faithful”?
Before getting married, it is important to ask each other what your definition of “faithful” is. Is it an exclusive relationship where you are monogamous? Is it there for each other through thick and thin? Is it communicating whenever you need to, whether via text, call, or in-person?
Once you clearly understand what being faithful means to the other person, you can be sure that both of your commitments towards one another will be solid.
Communication is key in any relationship, and marriage is no exception. It’s important to openly discuss anything that might be causing confusion or stress for either party.
This way, both partners can work together to find a resolution and maintain a strong bond throughout everything!
What is Your Definition of “Commitment”?
Before you get married, ask your partner their definition of “commitment”. What does it mean to them? What are the things they are willing to do and commit to with you?
Talk about your expectations for marriage and what you want from your spouse. Agree on some basic principles, like being supportive and committed to each other and agreeing to work on those areas where you need improvement.
How Do You Plan to Handle Conflict?
How do they plan on handling conflict? This question can help you determine if you are compatible and if there are any areas of contention you may want to address before getting married.
Discuss what type of relationship you hope to have. Is it traditional, where each person plans their own life and does not involve too much communication or collaboration? Or is it more collaborative, with both people working together towards common goals? Once you know this about one another, it will be easier to determine how much communication is needed to maintain the relationship.
Determine if any areas of disagreement need addressing before getting married.
This could include financial concerns, parenting styles, or even recreational activities. If any issues need resolving, ensure they are on the table before walking down the aisle.
Make sure both parties understand how important it is for the marriage to work and that they are willing to put in the effort necessary for success.
What Are Your Thoughts On Children?
It might be helpful to ask your partner what their thoughts are on having children. Some couples decide not to have kids, while others may decide they would like more.
It’s important to talk about these things before you get married, so there aren’t any surprises down the line.
What Are Your Thoughts on Money and Possessions?
Talk about finances. How comfortable are you with discussing your income and expenses? Do you feel like you can trust your partner with this information? Are there any areas where you’d like to see changes in your relationship around money?
Discuss possessions, do either of you have any strong feelings about owning or not owning certain items? Is there anything that stands out to either of you as being particularly important or meaningful to own together? What would be the biggest adjustment for each of you if one or both possessions were no longer part of your lives?
Marriage is a big step. It’s important to be on the same page with your partner before taking that plunge. These 8 conversations will help you to do just that. So, if you’re thinking about marriage, or are already married, have these conversations and enjoy a better marriage.
FAQs | Things to Discuss Before Marriage
How to talk finances before marriage?
Before getting married, it is crucial to be upfront and honest about your spending habits, debts, and income. Additionally, you should address your long-term objectives, such as saving for a house or retirement. By having this discussion early on, you may prevent unpleasant shocks in the future and build a financial plan that matches your requirements.
Is marriage counseling required before marriage?
No, premarital marriage counseling is not needed. However, it is frequently advocated to prepare couples for married life. Marriage therapy may provide couples with the skills necessary to manage disputes and conflicts and teach them how to support and communicate with one another more effectively.
Is it normal to talk about marriage before being engaged?
It depends on the couple’s degree of comfort. Some couples feel comfortable discussing marriage early in their relationship, whilst others prefer to wait until they are engaged or married. Ultimately, the pair must determine what is best for them.
When should you talk about marriage?
It depends on the couple’s specific situation. Some couples may opt to discuss marriage early on in their relationship, while others may prefer to wait until they are more seriously considering the next step. It is ultimately up to the pair to choose when the ideal moment is to talk about marriage.
What to talk about before getting engaged?
While some couples like discussing their plans and getting engaged, others prefer to keep things casual. Regardless, some topics should always be discussed before becoming engaged. These may include your expectations for the relationship, views on marriage, where you envision living, and your intentions for having children. It is also essential to discuss each other’s families and the roles they will play in your life.