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Home Relationships

Are You in a Relationship but Feel Alone? (Real Reasons)

The Sad Reality of Being in a Relationship But Feeling Alone

Meryl Roberts by Meryl Roberts
July 4, 2023
in Relationships
Reading Time: 9 mins read
0
Woman standing beside body of calm water-are you in a relationship but feel alone

Photo by Jessica Favaro on Unsplash

In a relationship, you should be with your best friend. You should be able to rely on them for anything and feel comfortable talking to them about anything.

So why do so many people are in relationships but feel alone? They don’t feel they can rely on their partner, or they don’t feel like their partner is truly their best friend.

If this is how you feel, you’re not alone. Many people are in relationships but feel alone.

There might be a reason if you’re feeling lonely and isolated in your relationship. In this post, we’ll explore real reasons people feel alone in a relationship. We’ll also give you tips on dealing with those feelings and help bridge the disconnection between you and your partner.

Ready to start feeling connected again? Read on!

Page Contents

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  • What Causes People To Feel Alone In A Relationship?
    • 1. The Communication between the Couple Is Not Working Well
    • 2. The Couple Is Not on the Same Page about Important Issues
    • 3. One or Both Members of the Couple Feel like They Are Not Being Heard
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    • 4. One or Both of the Partners Feels that their partner does not Understand Them
    • 5. One or Both of the Partners Is Not Comfortable Speaking About Their Feelings
    • 6. One or Both of the Partners Does Not Feel that Their Partner Is Interested in Them
    • 7. One or Both of the Partners Are Not Able to Handle Conflict
    • 8. One or Both of the Partners May Have Different Interests
    • 9. One or Both of the Partners Feeling Unsupported
    • 10. One or Both of the Partners Do Not Feel that Their Partner Is Attracted to Them
  • The Effects of Feeling Alone
    • 1. Feeling Isolated
    • 2. Feeling Unimportant
    • 3. Feeling like You’re Not Good Enough
  • How to Communicate Feeling Lonely in a Relationship
  • How Can You Address The Issues That Cause People To Feel Alone In A Relationship?
    • 1. Talk to Your Partner about the Issues that Are Causing Them to Feel Alone
    • 2. Talk to Your Partner about How They Are Feeling
    • 3. Talk to Your Partner about How They Are Communicating with You
    • 4. Talk to Your Partner about How They Are Handling Conflict
    • 5. Talk to Your Partner about What They Want from the Relationship
  • Conclusion
  • FAQs | Feeling Sad and Lonely in a Relationship
    • Is it normal to feel alone in a relationship?
    • Why does my relationship feel empty?
    • Do I love him, or am I just lonely?
    • How do you tell if you’re not right for each other?
    • Why do I keep doubting my relationship?
          • [+] Sources

What Causes People To Feel Alone In A Relationship?

There are many reasons why people might feel alone in their relationship. Some of the reasons include:

1. The Communication between the Couple Is Not Working Well

There may be various reasons why communication between a couple is not working well. One possibility is that one or both partners are not communicating effectively.

This can be due to difficulty understanding each other, expressing oneself clearly, or not feeling comfortable speaking openly with one’s partner. If communication between the couple is consistently difficult, it may be time to consider whether the relationship is salvageable.

2. The Couple Is Not on the Same Page about Important Issues

This can lead to a feeling of loneliness and isolation. Often, one partner will feel like they are all alone in their relationship. In contrast, the other feels stuck in a situation they cannot control.

3. One or Both Members of the Couple Feel like They Are Not Being Heard

When couples are in a relationship, it is often expected that they will be able to communicate with each other effectively. If this is not the case, there may be problems with communication.

One of the main reasons couples may have difficulty communicating is if one or both members feel like they are not being heard. If one member feels like they are not being listened to, it can lead to frustration and resentment.

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If this resentment builds over time, it can lead to problems within the relationship. To prevent these problems from happening, it is important for both couple members to feel heard and understood.

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4. One or Both of the Partners Feels that their partner does not Understand Them

One or both partners in a relationship feel alone for many reasons. One possibility is that the partner feels misunderstood. This can happen for a few reasons.

Maybe their partner doesn’t see or hear what they hear but doesn’t understand the full meaning. Maybe their partner only sees part of the situation and isn’t able to vicariously experience everything the other person is feeling.

Or maybe their partner doesn’t care about them as much as they think. All of these can lead to feelings of being alone in a relationship.

If you’re one of the partners feeling alone, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Likely many things are going on inside your head that you don’t even know about and that your partner may be struggling with.

5. One or Both of the Partners Is Not Comfortable Speaking About Their Feelings

One or both partners may be uncomfortable discussing their feelings for several reasons. It could be because they’re not entirely sure what they want, or they’re worried their partner won’t take them seriously if they say anything.

6. One or Both of the Partners Does Not Feel that Their Partner Is Interested in Them

In any relationship, it is essential that both partners feel valued and interested in each other. However, sometimes one or both partners may feel that their partner is not interested in them.

This can be a major problem for the relationship and lead to feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and even resentment.

7. One or Both of the Partners Are Not Able to Handle Conflict

Conflict can be a normal part of any relationship. Still, if one or both partners find it difficult to deal with, they may feel isolated. This can make it harder to resolve problems and build positive relationships.

8. One or Both of the Partners May Have Different Interests

Maybe one person in the relationship is more interested in their career than they are in the relationship, or maybe one person is a lot more active outside of the relationship than inside.

There could be any number of reasons why a couple might not feel close to each other. Still, the most common ones are usually rooted in differences in interests or lifestyle choices.

9. One or Both of the Partners Feeling Unsupported

One or both partners in a relationship may feel unsupported for several reasons. These can include feeling stuck in a rut, unable to see any progress, or feeling that their partner doesn’t care about them.

If one partner feels unsupported, it can lead to loneliness and isolation. This can make it difficult to get out and socialize, further increasing the sense of loneliness. If both partners feel unsupported, it can lead to stagnation in the relationship.

10. One or Both of the Partners Do Not Feel that Their Partner Is Attracted to Them

One or both partners in a relationship feel alone for several reasons. Often, one or both individuals may not feel that their partner is attracted to them. This can be due to various factors, such as the partner feeling unattractive, uninteresting, or incompatible with them.

Additionally, it can be difficult for someone to admit that they are not interested in someone else and may choose to continue the relationship despite feeling this way. If this happens in your relationship, it is important to discuss and figure out a solution together.

The Effects of Feeling Alone

1. Feeling Isolated

A few factors can lead to feeling isolated in a relationship. Feeling alone may be an effect of feeling ignored or unsupported by your partner. It can also result from communication barriers, such as being unable to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner openly.

2. Feeling Unimportant

Feeling unimportant is an effect of feeling alone in a relationship. When not part of a partnership, we tend to feel like our opinions and contributions don’t matter as much. This can lead to insecurity, making us feel lonely and disconnected from our partners.

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3. Feeling like You’re Not Good Enough

You’re surrounded by other people who care about you in a relationship. You may feel like you don’t measure up to their standards, or they don’t care about you as much as they should. This can make you feel like a failure and make it hard to enjoy your relationship.

Sometimes, feeling alone in a relationship is caused by real problems with the relationship itself. If one of you is cheating on the other, for example, then it can be hard to trust and feel connected to the person around you.

How to Communicate Feeling Lonely in a Relationship

In a relationship, one of the most important things is communication. If one person is feeling lonely, it’s important to be able to communicate that and find a solution.

One way to do this is to talk about how you’re feeling. This can help you understand what’s happening and devise a solution.

It’s also important to ensure you’re spending enough time together. Spending time together not only helps keep the relationship strong but can also help alleviate feelings of loneliness.

How Can You Address The Issues That Cause People To Feel Alone In A Relationship?

There are a few things that you can do to address the issues that cause people to feel alone in their relationships. Some of the things that you can do include:

1. Talk to Your Partner about the Issues that Are Causing Them to Feel Alone

In a relationship, it is important to have open and honest communication with your partner. Talking about the issues causing them to feel alone can help resolve the problem and ensure that both of you feel supported.

It may also be helpful to explore how you can each individually address the concerns currently causing tension in your relationship.

Find that talking with your partner is not resolving the issue. It may be worth exploring other options, such as counseling or therapy.

2. Talk to Your Partner about How They Are Feeling

It can be difficult to communicate with our partners about our feelings. There are a few things you can do to help increase your chances of getting the conversation started:

  • Be honest and open with your partner: Let them know how you feel on any given day, even if it’s something small. This will allow them to understand your thoughts and feelings more clearly.
  • Be patient: It may take some time for your partner to respond in a way that feels comfortable for both of you, but don’t give up hope! Talking about our feelings is important in resolving conflicts and creating stronger relationships.

3. Talk to Your Partner about How They Are Communicating with You

Is your partner communicating with you in a comfortable and supportive way?

If not, it may be time to talk to them about how they communicate with you. It can be difficult to know what is bothersome or frustrating to our partners, so it is important for both of you to communicate openly. Discussing how we feel and what is causing tension can help us work through any issues together.

4. Talk to Your Partner about How They Are Handling Conflict

In any relationship, it’s important to be able to talk about conflict. If you’re uncomfortable discussing conflict with your partner, it can lead to problems. Here are a few tips on how to talk to your partner about how they are handling conflict:

  • Talk about your own experiences with conflict. This will help your partner feel more comfortable sharing their own experiences.
  • Ask your partner how they usually handle conflict. Do they tend to avoid it, or do they like to confront it head-on?
  • Talk about specific conflicts you have had and how you handled them. This will give you a better idea of how your partner deals with conflict and whether or not they are willing to compromise.
  • Discuss what you both expect from each other when dealing with conflict.

5. Talk to Your Partner about What They Want from the Relationship

It can be difficult to talk about what you want from a relationship. You may feel like you’re being too demanding or not communicating effectively. However, having these conversations with your partner is important to understand each other’s needs and expectations.

Here are a few tips for how to talk to your partner about what you want from the relationship:

  • Be honest with yourself first: What do you want from this relationship? Make sure you know your needs and expectations before you try to communicate them to your partner.
  • Talk about it non-judgmentally: In these conversations, avoiding being judgmental or critical of your partner is important. Instead, focus on explaining your needs and why they’re important to you.
  • Be respectful of your partner’s feelings: It’s important to remember that you should never try to force your partner into doing something they don’t want to do.

Conclusion

If you are in a relationship but feel alone, you are not. Many other people feel the same way. It is important to communicate with your partner and find ways to connect with them on a deeper level.

Talk about your feelings and why you are feeling this way. Spending quality time together and ensuring you are both on the same page is also important. If you still feel alone after doing these things, it may be time to reassess your relationship.

FAQs | Feeling Sad and Lonely in a Relationship

Is it normal to feel alone in a relationship?

Yes, feeling alone in a relationship is natural. This can occur for various reasons, including a sense that you and your relationship are not on the same page or that your partner is not supportive. If you feel alone in your relationship, you must talk with your spouse and look for ways to connect.

Why does my relationship feel empty?

Your partnership may feel empty for a variety of reasons. Perhaps you and your partner have nothing in common or don’t communicate effectively. It’s also likely that you’re dissatisfied with your relationship. If you’re unhappy with things, talk to your spouse and see if you can work together to resolve the problems.

Do I love him, or am I just lonely?

It’s difficult to say for sure. It’s probably love if you continuously think about and miss him when he’s not around. However, it may just be loneliness if you’re simply lonely and he’s the only person accessible.

How do you tell if you’re not right for each other?

Some signs that you may not be right for each other include constantly arguing, feeling like you’re never on the same page, and not enjoying each other’s company. It may be a sign that you’re not meant to be together if you’re constantly fighting or unhappy around each other.

Why do I keep doubting my relationship?

There might be several reasons why you continue to distrust your connection. Perhaps you’ve been injured before and find it tough to trust again. Perhaps there are some red signs you are aware of but are ignoring. It is critical to pay heed to your gut instincts and what your intellect tells you. If something does not feel right, it most likely is not. Discuss your fears with your spouse and see if they can make you feel more at peace.

[+] Sources
  1. Choosing Therapy: What to Do When You’re Feeling Alone in a Relationship
  2. WebMD: How to Stop Feeling Lonely When You’re in a Relationship
  3. Marriage: 15 Signs of Loneliness in a Relationship and How to Deal With It
  4. Women’s Health: What To Do If You Feel Lonely In Your Relationship
  5. Brides: What to Do If You’re Feeling Alone in a Relationship
  6. Lifehack: 6 Real Reasons Why You’re Feeling Alone in a Relationship
  7. Very Well Mind: What to Do When You’re Feeling Lonely in a Relationship
  8. Cigna: How to Deal with Loneliness: 5 Ways to Stop Feeling Lonely
  9. Time: Feeling Lonely in Your Relationship? Here’s What to Do About It
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Bay Area therapist empowers individuals & relationships. Meryl blends 13+ years of expertise in yoga, meditation & holistic practices to guide clients towards mental wellness & thriving relationships. A passionate advocate for mind-body health, she helps you unlock your best self.

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