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13 Tips To Help Your Child Deal With Divorce (Go-to-Guide)

How to Help Your Child Cope With Divorce

Meryl Roberts by Meryl Roberts
March 16, 2023
in Parenting
Reading Time: 10 mins read
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Home Parenting

It can be difficult to know how to help your child deal with the situation if you’re a parent going through a divorce. Divorce is never easy for children to deal with and can even cause them to struggle with some psychological disorders.

Many parents know that a child’s world can change dramatically when they divorce.

While it may not be easy for them, there are things that children can do to help them cope.

In this article, we provide 13 tips that will help your child deal with the divorce and move on. These tips will help your child get through this difficult time.

In the United States, divorce is on the rise. According to a recent study by the Pew Research Center, the divorce rate has increased from 40 percent in the 1970s to over 60 percent today.

It’s not surprising that many kids experience great emotional stress during a divorce. One of the most common sources of stress in families is the divorce process. If you’re in the process of separating or divorcing, then you know how difficult and messy this process can be.

Page Contents

  • The Impact of Divorce on Children
  • The Different Ways Children React to Divorce
    • Trending Now
    • 14 Ways to THRIVE as a Single Mother (Not Just Survive)
    • 5 Ways to Identify And Play to Your Child’s Strengths
    • 1. They May Become Withdrawn and Quiet
    • 2. They May Become Angry and Aggressive
    • 3. They May Act Out in School or at Home
    • 4. They May Struggle with Anxiety or Depression
    • 5. They May Have Trouble Adjusting to Changes
    • 6. They May Seem Fine at First but Then Have a Hard Time Later on
  • The Best Way to Help Your Child Deal With Divorce
  • Tips to Help Your Child Deal with Divorce:
    • 1. Introduce the Topic of Divorce to Your Child in an Age-Appropriate Way
    • 2. Listen to Your Child
    • 3. Encourage Your Child to Express Their Feelings
    • 4. Help Your Child Understand that the Divorce Is Not Their Fault
    • 5. Reassure Your Child that both Parents Still Love Them
    • 6. Reassure Your Child that They Will Still Have a Family
    • 7. Spend Time with Your Child
    • 8. Respect Your Child’s Privacy and Allow Them to Share as Much or as Little as They Want About Their Feelings
    • 9. Help Your Child to Develop a Support System of Family and Friends
    • 10. Keep Communication Open
    • 12. Coping With Your Own Feelings About Divorce
    • 13. Seek Professional Help if Needed
  • Conclusion
  • FAQs | Help Your Child Deal With Divorce
    • At what age can kids handle divorce the best?
    • How stressful is divorce for child?
    • Will divorce ruin my child?
    • Is it better to stay together for a child?
    • How does divorce affect a child mentally?

The Impact of Divorce on Children

The children may feel like they are to blame for the divorce and may have difficulty adjusting to the changes in their family. They may also struggle with feeling isolated from their friends and family members who are not going through a divorce. Children can learn to adjust to the changes and thrive with the right support.

The impact of divorce on children is something that is often talked about but not always understood. It is important to remember that children are not just miniature adults, they are still developing and growing, and their reactions to divorce will be different than an adult’s.

It is important to try to keep things as normal as possible for children during a divorce. Their world is already being turned upside down, and they need stability.

However, the reality is that divorce often brings out the worst in people. Parents can become wrapped up in their problems and may not be as available to their children as they were before. This can lead to feelings of abandonment and rejection.

There may also be financial stressors that come along with divorce. If one parent is ordered to pay child support, that can strain the family’s finances. And if the parents are fighting over custody, the children may feel caught in the middle.

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All of these stressors can hurt children. They may become withdrawn or depressed. They may have trouble sleeping or eating. They may start wetting the bed or having accidents. They may have difficulty concentrating in school.

If you are going through a divorce, it is important to be aware of the impact it may have on your children. Talk to your lawyer about your concerns and look for resources that can help your children through this difficult time.

It is estimated that 40 to 50 percent of first marriages in the United States end in divorce. The impact of divorce on children is significant. Children of divorced parents are more likely to experience a wide range of behavioral problems, including:

  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Poor social skills
  • Poor academic performance

In addition, children of divorced parents are more likely to experience a variety of health problems, including:

  • Asthma
  • Headaches
  • Obesity

The impact of divorce on children can be both immediate and long-term.

In the immediate aftermath of a divorce, children often feel confused, angry, and anxious. They may have difficulty sleeping and lose interest in activities they used to enjoy.

Over the long term, the impact of divorce on children can be more subtle. Children of divorced parents may have difficulty forming and maintaining romantic and platonic relationships.

They may also have difficulty trusting people, which can lead to problems in both their personal and professional lives.

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The Different Ways Children React to Divorce

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When a marriage ends in divorce, it is often the children most affected. While every child reacts differently, some common ways kids respond to their parents splitting up.

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Many children feel guilty, thinking that they somehow caused the divorce. They may also blame themselves and believe that their parents would still be together if they had better behaved.

Some kids become withdrawn and extremely shy after their parents’ divorce. Others act out in aggressive or destructive ways to express their anger and hurt.

Parents need to remember that their children did not cause the divorce and that it is not their fault. Kids need lots of love and support during this difficult time. They will eventually adjust to the new family situation with understanding and patience.

When a couple decides to divorce, it’s not just the adults involved who are affected. The children of the divorcing couple are also impacted in a big way. Depending on their age, children react to divorce in different ways.

Very young children, aged 0-5, may not understand what’s happening when their parents divorce. They may sense that something is wrong, but they won’t be able to grasp the concept of divorce. As a result, they may feel insecure and confused. They may also become more clingy and cry more than usual.

Older children aged 6-12 are likely to better understand what divorce means. They may be sad, scared, or angry about the divorce. They may feel they’re to blame for the divorce, even though they’re not.

Older children may also struggle with changes to their daily routine, such as moving to a new house or going back and forth between their parents’ homes.

Teenagers are typically more accepting of their parents’ divorce than younger children. They may still feel sad or angry about the divorce, but they’re more likely to understand that it’s not their fault. Teenagers may also be more independent and better able to cope with changes to their daily routines.

Every child is different and will uniquely react to divorce. Some kids seem to take it all in stride, while others struggle with anxiety or depression. There is no right or wrong way for a child to react to divorce; whatever they feel is valid.

Here are some of the different ways that kids may react to divorce:

1. They May Become Withdrawn and Quiet

Some kids may become withdrawn and introverted after their parents’ divorce. They may have trouble sleeping and may not want to participate in activities they used to enjoy. This is usually a temporary reaction; kids will eventually come out of their shells again.

2. They May Become Angry and Aggressive

For some kids, divorce can be a very confusing and frustrating experience. They may lash out in anger or become aggressive towards others. This is often a way for kids to express the pain and confusion they’re feeling.

3. They May Act Out in School or at Home

Some kids may start acting out in school or at home after their parents divorce. This may include getting into fights, skipping class, or acting out in other ways. This is usually a way for kids to express their feelings of anger and frustration.

4. They May Struggle with Anxiety or Depression

Divorce can be a very difficult and stressful experience for some kids. They may struggle with anxiety or depression and have difficulty sleeping or eating. If you’re concerned that your child is struggling with anxiety or depression, it’s important to talk to a doctor or mental health professional.

5. They May Have Trouble Adjusting to Changes

After a divorce, kids may have to adjust to many changes. This can be difficult and may cause kids to feel overwhelmed or stressed. They may have trouble sleeping or not want to go to school or participate in activities.

6. They May Seem Fine at First but Then Have a Hard Time Later on

Some kids may seem to take the news of their parents’ divorce in stride but then have a hard time later. This is often because they’re trying to cope with the stress and changes in their way.

If you’re worried about how your child reacts to your divorce, it’s important to talk to them about it. Let them know that it’s okay to feel whatever they’re feeling and that you’re there for them. If you’re concerned about their mental health, you must talk to a doctor or mental health professional.

The Best Way to Help Your Child Deal With Divorce

It’s never easy to see your child going through a tough time, especially if it’s something as difficult as divorce. While there is no one right way to help your child deal with divorce, there are some things you can do to make the process a little easier for them.

Here are some tips on the best way to help your child deal with divorce:

  1. Be there for them. Let them know you’re there for them and will support them through this tough time.
  2. Encourage communication. It’s important to encourage communication between you and your child, so they can express how they’re feeling and what they’re going through.
  3. Help them understand what’s happening. It’s important to help your child understand what’s happening and why.

Tips to Help Your Child Deal with Divorce:

1. Introduce the Topic of Divorce to Your Child in an Age-Appropriate Way

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It can be difficult to know how to introduce the topic of divorce to your child in an age-appropriate way. You want to ensure that you are honest with your child, but you also don’t want to overwhelm them with information. Here are a few tips on how to introduce the topic of divorce to your child in an age-appropriate way.

If your child is old enough to understand, explain to them what divorce is. Tell them that it is when two married people decide to live apart. Let them know that it is not their fault and that they will still be able to see both parents, even if they live in different homes.

If your child is younger, you can still explain what divorce is, but you don’t need to go into as much detail.

2. Listen to Your Child

It can be difficult for children to understand and deal with their parents getting a divorce. As a parent, you can help your child by listening to them. Create an open and safe environment where your child feels comfortable talking to you about their feelings.

Let your child know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused about the divorce. Reassure them that they are not responsible for the divorce and that both parents still love them.

3. Encourage Your Child to Express Their Feelings

As a parent, it is important to encourage your child to express their feelings about the divorce. This can help them deal with the divorce and make it easier for them to cope with the changes in their family.

It is normal for children to feel sad, angry, or confused when their parents divorce. They may blame themselves or feel like they are not good enough. Parents need to talk to their children about these feelings and help them understand that the divorce is not their fault.

Encouraging your child to express their feelings can help them cope with the divorce and make it easier for them to adjust to the changes in their family. It is also important for parents to be there for their children and provide support during this difficult time.

4. Help Your Child Understand that the Divorce Is Not Their Fault

It can be difficult for children to understand that a divorce is not their fault. They may think they did something to cause the divorce or could have done something to prevent it. It’s important to help your child understand that the divorce is not their fault and that they are not responsible for the breakup of the family.

5. Reassure Your Child that both Parents Still Love Them

Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, but it can be especially hard on children. It’s important to reassure your child that both parents still love them and that they are not responsible for the divorce. Here are some tips to help your child deal with divorce:

Explain what is happening in simple terms. Reassure your child that they are not responsible for the divorce and that both parents still love them. Help them express their feelings by talking about what they’re experiencing or by writing down their thoughts in a journal.

Encourage them to stay involved in activities they enjoy. This can help take their minds off the divorce and give them a sense of normalcy. Spend time with them doing things they want, such as going to the park or playing games.

6. Reassure Your Child that They Will Still Have a Family

It can be difficult for children to understand why their parents are getting a divorce. They may feel they did something wrong or are somehow responsible. It is important to reassure your child that they will still have a family, even though things will be different.

Explain to your child that sometimes grown-ups change their minds about being married to each other. Just because their parents are getting divorced doesn’t mean they don’t love them anymore. Reassure them that both mom and dad will still be their parents and they will still have a family.

Let your child know it’s okay to feel sad, scared, or angry about the divorce. It’s normal to have many feelings when something this big happens in the family. Encourage them to talk to you or another trusted adult about their feelings.

7. Spend Time with Your Child

As a parent, it is important to spend time with your child to help them deal with divorce. This can be a difficult time for children, so being there for them is essential. Here are a few tips on how to spend time with your child to help them deal with divorce:

  1. Talk to your child about what they are feeling. It is important to let them express their feelings and talk about what they are going through.
  2. Do things together that your child enjoys. This can help take their minds off the divorce and give them some fun and positive experiences.
  3. Be a good listener. If your child wants to talk, be there to listen without judgment or giving advice. Just let them vent and get everything off their chest.

8. Respect Your Child’s Privacy and Allow Them to Share as Much or as Little as They Want About Their Feelings

It can be difficult for children to deal with their parents’ divorce, and they may want to keep their feelings private. It’s important to respect your child’s privacy and allow them to share as much or as little as they want about their feelings. This can help your child feel more comfortable talking about their feelings and make it easier for them to deal with the divorce.

9. Help Your Child to Develop a Support System of Family and Friends

If you are going through a divorce, it is important to help your child develop a family and friends support system. This will help your child deal with the divorce and the changes it brings.

Help them find a support group or counseling if they need someone to talk to outside the family. This can be a great way for them to share their feelings with others who understand what they are going through.

Encourage them to spend time with their friends and other family members. This will help them feel loved and supported during this difficult time.

10. Keep Communication Open

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As a parent, one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do is tell your child that you are getting a divorce. While this may be an amicable decision between you and your spouse, it can still be tough on your child. To help them deal with the situation, you must keep communication open.

Let them know that they can come to you with any questions or concerns they may have. It is also important to reassure them that both parents still love them and that the divorce is not their fault.

Try to avoid arguing in front of your child and present a united front when possible. This will help them feel like they are not being pulled in different directions. It is also important to continue to spend time together as a family, even if it means doing things differently than you did before.

11. Helping Your Child Adjust to a New Family Structure

No family is perfect, but when parents divorce, it can be difficult for children to understand and deal with the changes in their family structure. You can help your child adjust to a new family structure by being there for them emotionally, communicating openly about what is happening, and providing stability in their daily routine.

Going through a divorce is tough for everyone involved, but it can be especially hard on kids. They may feel like they are losing a parent or are responsible for the breakup. It’s important to let your child know they are not responsible and that you both love them very much.

Try to maintain as much stability in their daily routine as possible. If they have to switch schools or move to a new house, help them make new friends and settle into their new surroundings.

12. Coping With Your Own Feelings About Divorce

If you’re going through a divorce, it’s understandable that you have your own feelings about the situation. It can be tough to see your child dealing with the same thing. However, there are ways you can help your child cope with divorce.

Here are some tips for coping with your own feelings about divorce to help your child deal with divorce:

  1. Acknowledge your own feelings. It’s important, to be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. If you’re feeling angry, sad, or frustrated, that’s okay. Don’t try to bottle up your emotions.
  2. Talk to someone you trust. Talking to a friend or therapist can help you work through your emotions and develop a support system.
  3. Be there for your child. Let your child know that you’re there for them no matter what.

13. Seek Professional Help if Needed

No one gets married expecting to get divorced, but unfortunately, it happens. If you are going through a divorce, it is important to seek professional help to help your child deal with the divorce. Here are a few reasons why:

Your child will likely have many questions and may feel confused, sad, or angry. A professional can help your child understand what is happening and give them tools to deal with their emotions.

A professional can also help you figure out how to best support your child during this difficult time. You may be feeling overwhelmed and struggling to cope. It is important to take care of yourself, so you can be there for your child.

If you have difficulty communicating with your ex-spouse, a professional can mediate conversations and help you develop a co-parenting plan that works for everyone involved.

Conclusion

In the end, being supportive and encouraging is what matters most. The best thing you can do for your child after a divorce is to provide them with every possible emotional support.

These thirteen tips can help your child healthily deal with divorce. As a parent, being there for your child and providing support is important.

Remember, you are not alone in this process. Many resources are available to help you and your family through this difficult time.

By taking these steps, you will be able to ensure that your child feels loved and supported as they deal with the emotional effects of their parents split.

Once it passes, know that you have done everything within your power to offer loving support where it was needed most!

FAQs | Help Your Child Deal With Divorce

At what age can kids handle divorce the best?

Divorce affects each child differently. Some children may acclimatize easier at a younger age, while others may require more time. Ultimately, it is important to communicate with your child and help them through the process in whatever way they need.

How stressful is divorce for child?

It varies tremendously based on the child’s age, connection with their parents, and the overall scenario. However, divorce may be an extremely stressful and emotional period for a kid, so it is critical to make the transition as easy as possible.

Will divorce ruin my child?

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No, a divorce will not ruin your child. While the transition may be tough, children are resilient and can adapt to new conditions. A divorce might be a wonderful experience for a kid if both parents support it.

Is it better to stay together for a child?

This is a difficult question to answer. Finally, whether or not to stay together for a kid is determined by the unique scenario and what is best for the child. However, other studies show that keeping parents together may benefit children.

How does divorce affect a child mentally?

Divorce may be tough for children to deal with, and it can have long-term consequences for their mental health. After their parents’ divorce, children may feel confused, alone, and anxious. They may also experience sentiments of remorse, blame, or betrayal. Parents must discuss the divorce with their children and assist them in comprehending what is going on.

Reference

  1. Lifehack: 11 Tips To Help Your Child Deal With Divorce
  2. Ideas Ted: The best possible thing you can do to help your child through divorce
  3. Psychology Today: 8 Strategies for Helping Kids Adjust to a Divorce
  4. Healthline: What’s the Hardest Age for Children to See Their Parents Split?
  5. What To Expect: How to Help Your Child Through a Divorce
  6. Help Guide: Children and Divorce
  7. Child Mind Institute: Supporting Kids During a Divorce
  8. Parents: 11 Rules for Helping Your Child Deal With Divorce
  9. Cleveland Clinic: How to Help Your Child After a Breakup or Divorce

Featured Photo by Jenna Christina on Unsplash

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Meryl Roberts

Meryl Roberts

Meryl is a relationship, parenting, yoga, and mental wellness specialist with 13 years of experience in the Bay Area. She has helped countless people improve their relationships and mental health through yoga, meditation, and other holistic methods. She is highly passionate about her work, and strongly believes that a healthy mind and body are essential to a happy life.

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