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Dating Etiquette – 7 (Do’s and Don’ts) Rules to Live By

What are the do's and don'ts of dating?

Meryl Roberts by Meryl Roberts
July 23, 2023
in Relationships
Reading Time: 11 mins read
0
Couples holding hands in a parkway - dating rules book

Couples Holding Hands in a Parkway

We have many dating etiquette rules to live by, but I thought it would be interesting to highlight some of the more notable do’s and don’ts.

Many people feel like they are walking on eggshells regarding dating etiquette. However, if we apply a few simple tips, things will be much easier for you and your date.

Maybe you’ve been in situations where you could have used some extra guidance, or perhaps you’re afraid of what will happen if you mess up.

When you’re in a relationship and looking for ways to keep things interesting, you want to try to avoid doing or saying anything that might hurt your partner’s feelings.

Of course, you want to be upfront and honest, but when you get caught up in the moment, you may say or do something you regret.

This can lead to arguments, misunderstandings, and an unpleasant break-up. We’ve compiled seven do’s and don’ts to live by when dating.

Page Contents

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  • Do’s
    • Do Be Yourself
    • Trending Now
    • Making People Feel Seen and Heard: Simple Ways to Connect and Empower
    • What Happens When You Ignore a Gaslighter?
    • Do Show Interest
    • Do Listen
    • Do Pay Attention
    • Do Keep Your Distance
    • Do Avoid Talking About Politics
    • Do Remember That Everyone Is Different
  • Don’ts
    • Don’t Be Too Attentive
    • Don’t Ask Personal Questions
    • Don’t Bring Up Past Relationships
    • Don’t Talk About Money
    • Don’t Make Assumptions
    • Don’t Try To Pick The Date Up
    • Don’t Take Things Personally
  • Conclusion
  • FAQs | Dating Casually Rules
    • What are the 5 rules of dating?
    • What is proper first date etiquette?
    • What is the golden rule of dating?
    • Do you kiss on the first date?
    • Should you hug on first date?
    • Which date should you kiss?
    • How many dates before it is a relationship?
    • How do you end a date?
    • Should I hold hands on first date?
    • What do guys notice on a first date?
    • What to avoid talking about on a first date?
    • Do you text after a date?
    • How many dates before you decide it’s not a match?
    • What does a hug mean after a first date?
    • How long should a date last?
    • What is the best color to wear on a first date?
    • What should you never say on a date?
    • How do you know if there is chemistry on your first date?
    • What do you bring on a first date?
    • What should you not wear on a first date?
    • What do guys expect on first date?
    • Do guys care what you wear on a date?
    • Are jeans OK for a first date?
    • Is it weird to hold hands on a first date?

Do’s

Do Be Yourself

Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone else.

What does it mean to “be yourself”? Regarding dating, it can be challenging to know precisely what that means.

For some, it might mean being your most charming and outgoing self. For others, it might mean being more introverted and reserved. The important thing is to figure out what makes you feel comfortable and confident.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when dating is pretending to be someone they’re not. If you’re not a naturally outgoing person, don’t try to force yourself to be the life of the party.

Likewise, don’t try to act like someone else if you’re shy and introverted. You’ll only end up feeling uncomfortable and fake.

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The best way to “be yourself” is to be genuine and authentic. Be honest about your interests, your passions, and your quirks.

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Do Show Interest

Show interest in your date. Smile and laugh.

If you’re interested in someone, let them know! It can be as simple as smiling at the person, making eye contact, or texting.

If you’re unsure if the other person is interested, ask! It’s better to be forward and find out than to sit around wondering.

Do Listen

Listen to what your date says. He/she may have something important to say.

There’s a lot of debate about what constitutes bad dating etiquette. Is it flirting with other people when you’re on a date? Is it talking about your exes? Is it not texting back right away?

While there are no definitive answers, one thing is for sure; good dating etiquette starts with listening. Listening is vital whether on a date or just getting to know someone.

When you’re listening, you show the other person that you care about them and their thoughts and feelings. You’re also building trust and establishing a connection.

Listening also allows you to understand better the other person, which can come in handy later on if things progress to a more severe level.

So, be attentive to their response next time you’re out on a date or chatting with someone new.

Do Pay Attention

Pay attention to your date. Watch his/her face.

In this day and age, there are so many ways to meet people. You can go to a bar, sign up for an online dating site, or even use an app on your phone.

With so many options, it’s easy to forget the basics of dating etiquette. One of the most important things to remember is always to pay attention.

When you’re out on a date, focus on the person you’re with. Don’t check your phone or talk with your friends at the table.

Be attentive and engaged in what your date is saying. This will show that you’re interested in them and taking the date seriously.

Another essential part of dating etiquette is being respectful. This means you should never do anything that makes your date uncomfortable.

Do Keep Your Distance

Keep your distance. Don’t touch your date.

Getting close to your date when you’re out can be tempting, especially if things are going well. However, there are some important reasons why you should keep your distance.

First, getting too close can make your date feel uncomfortable.

Second, it’s essential to maintain some physical space, or else your date may feel like they’re in a relationship before they’re ready, which can lead to problems.

Finally, keeping your distance can help you stay in control of the situation and avoid getting into uncomfortable or potentially dangerous situations.

Do Avoid Talking About Politics

Politics is a sensitive subject. Don’t bring it up.

When you’re first getting to know someone, there are many things you should avoid talking about. Politics is one of them. It can be a polarizing topic, and it’s easy to say something you’ll regret later.

If the two of you are dating seriously, it’s okay to talk about politics after getting to know each other better.

But for now, it’s best to steer clear. There are plenty of other things to discuss – like your hobbies, families, and future dreams.

Politics can be a touchy subject, and agreeing on everything is not always easy. So if you’re dating someone new, avoiding discussing politics altogether is best.

You don’t want to ruin your chances with them by saying something you’ll regret later on!

Do Remember That Everyone Is Different

Just remember to respect everyone’s differences.

Everyone is different, so what works for one person might not work for another.

For example, some people might feel uncomfortable when someone they’re dating pays for their meal, while others might view it as a sign of interest and appreciation.

Another thing to keep in mind is that different cultures have different expectations regarding dating. What might be considered normal in one culture could be regarded as rude or inappropriate in another.

So, it’s essential to research and be aware of the cultural norms before you date someone from a different background.

Finally, always use common sense and respect your date’s feelings. If you’re unsure what the right thing to do is, ask them!

Don’ts

While there are no hard and fast rules on dating etiquette, there are several things you should avoid when trying to get a second date or meet someone new.

Don’t Be Too Attentive

It’s okay to notice your date, but don’t stare too much.

If you find yourself staring at your date, you may be trying too hard to impress her/him.

Instead, focus on what he/she is saying. This shows interest and makes him/her feel special.

When you are first dating someone, it is vital to set the tone for the relationship. You don’t want to be too attentive and smother your date, but you also don’t want to be too aloof and indifferent.

Here are a few tips for striking the right balance:

1. Pay attention to your date’s body language. Call back the attention if they seem uncomfortable or backed into a corner.

2. Find common ground and interests. This will help you connect with your date on a deeper level.

3. Remember that chemistry is crucial. If you are not feeling it, it will probably not work out.

Don’t Ask Personal Questions

You may come off as creepy if you ask personal questions about your date.

There is a certain etiquette that should be followed when dating. One of the most important rules? Don’t ask personal questions.

For example, if you want to know something about your date, wait until after dinner. Then you can ask him/her directly.

Questions about salary, job title, or where someone lives are off-limits. These personal inquiries can make people uncomfortable and put them on the spot.

It’s best to stick to more general topics, like interests and hobbies, to get to know the person you’re dating better. After establishing a rapport, save the deep conversations for later on.

Don’t Bring Up Past Relationships

Don’t bring up past relationships unless you’ve been together long.

Everyone has had bad experiences in the past. Letting go of those hurts is part of moving forward.

It’s essential to keep the conversation light and cheerful when dating someone. This means avoiding topics that might make your date uncomfortable or awkward. One such issue is discussing past relationships.

Bringing up an ex can make your date feel like you’re not interested in them or that you’re still not over your last relationship. It can also be a major turn-off.

So, avoid talking about old flames if you want to make a good impression on your date.

Of course, there will be times when the topic of past relationships comes up naturally. But if you can avoid it, do so.

Save those discussions for another time – preferably when you’re already in a committed relationship.

Don’t Talk About Money

Money is an awkward topic to discuss.

Unless you two marry each other, money isn’t a big deal.

So unless you’re talking about buying a house together, don’t talk about money. It’s better to save this conversation for later.

It’s a sensitive topic and can be awkward to discuss.

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You can do a few things to avoid prematurely talking about money: don’t bring up salaries, don’t talk about your bank balance, and don’t ask about credit scores. Keep the conversation light and fluffy instead – talk about your hobbies, family, or future dreams.

It’s best to leave it out of conversations until you know the other person better. Save the financial discussions when you’re ready to get serious about the relationship.

Don’t Make Assumptions

Don’t assume anything about your date.

When two people first start dating, there are a lot of things that are new and unknown. This can be especially true when it comes to the topic of etiquette.

To ensure your relationship starts on the right foot, it’s important not to make assumptions about what the other person expects or wants.

For example, if you typically hold the door for someone when you’re out on a date, don’t just assume that your date will want you to do the same thing.

You may find that they prefer to open their doors. Or, if you offer to pay for dinner, don’t assume that your date will automatically say yes – they may want to split the bill.

Another example doesn’t assume that she/he likes sports. Ask him/her instead.

The key is asking what the other person prefers rather than making assumptions.

Don’t Try To Pick The Date Up

If you try to pick the date up, you may seem desperate.

When you’re on a date, acting like a gentleman is essential. One of the ways to do that is by not trying to pick the date up. It can be awkward and make the other person feel uncomfortable.

If you’re interested in someone, let them make the first move.

If they don’t, take that as a sign and move on.

Don’t Take Things Personally

Remember that everyone has their way of dealing with life.

For instance, some people prefer to eat late at night. Others enjoy eating breakfast.

Just remember that everyone is different.

If you’re on a date, the last thing you want to do is take things personally. Regarding dating etiquette, one of the most important things to remember is not to take things too seriously.

If your date doesn’t seem interested, or if they make a rude comment, don’t get upset. Remember that it’s not personal – they’re probably just not interested in you.

It’s important to stay calm and collected. If you start getting angry or defensive, it will only make things worse.

Remember, the person you’re dating isn’t your enemy – they’re just someone you’re trying to impress.

If things don’t go your way on a date, don’t worry – there’s always the next time. Just learn from your mistakes and move on.

Conclusion

Dating etiquette is vital to follow. Following these simple rules can make your dating experiences more enjoyable and less complicated. Follow them, and you’ll be sure to have a successful relationship.

Remember to have fun and be yourself while you date!

FAQs | Dating Casually Rules

What are the 5 rules of dating?

1. Don’t rush things.
2. Be yourself.
3. Don’t play games.
4. Don’t be too available.
5. Know what you want.

What is proper first date etiquette?

This question has no universal answer, as correct first-date etiquette varies by culture and locale. However, it is customary to be punctual, to bring a modest gift like flowers, and to be considerate of your date’s time and interests. You should also avoid discussing contentious themes and previous relationships.

What is the golden rule of dating?

The cardinal guideline of dating is to be authentic. Attempting to be someone you are not can only result in disappointment. Being genuine and trustworthy will result in meeting the appropriate person.

Do you kiss on the first date?

It depends on the individual. If you and the other person are okay with it, then proceed!

Should you hug on first date?

It depends on you! Some individuals feel more comfortable embracing on a first date, while others do not. If you are uncertain whether or not your date will approve, it is usually wise to inquire beforehand.

Which date should you kiss?

It depends entirely on your preferences and what makes you feel at ease. If you are unsure when to act, it is usually prudent to avoid caution and wait until you are completely prepared.

How many dates before it is a relationship?

No predetermined number of dates is required for a relationship to be deemed formal. It differs between different couples. Some individuals may consider themselves in a relationship after a single date, while others may wait until they have gone on many dates. It is ultimately up to the pair to determine when to define their relationship as “official.”

How do you end a date?

Ending a date can be difficult. You want to leave your date with a good impression but don’t want to seem overeager. Here are a few tips for ending a date:
Thank your date for spending time with me.
Say that you had a great time and look forward to seeing them again.
Give them a hug or a kiss on the cheek.
Tell them you need to go home or have to wake up early.

Should I hold hands on first date?

It depends on the individual. Holding hands on a first date may make some individuals uncomfortable or deem it overly personal. Others may not mind or even like it. You must ask your date what they think about it.

What do guys notice on a first date?

There is no standard reply to this issue, as it differs from male to guy. On a first date, a man may be attracted to a woman’s appearance, attire, personality, and interaction with him.

What to avoid talking about on a first date?

Some topics should be avoided on a first date. Politics, religion, and money are all potentially contentious and divisive subjects. It is preferable to postpone these chats until later, when you know each other better. Focus on issues that are more lighter, such as your hobbies or interests.

Do you text after a date?

Depending upon the date. If the date went well, I might text the individual the next day to express my appreciation.
If the date was unpleasant, I probably won’t text them again.

How many dates before you decide it’s not a match?

It depends on the person. I would say 3-5 dates.

What does a hug mean after a first date?

After a first date, a hug might signify many things to different individuals. For some, it may be only a statement of affection and appreciation, whilst for others, it may indicate a desire to pursue a romantic connection.

How long should a date last?

There is no set time limit for how long a date should continue; however, keeping things brief and sweet is typically advised. Thus, you will have a greater possibility of leaving your date wanting more than making them feel like you’ve overstayed your welcome. In addition, it will assist in eliminating awkwardness and tension if the date is too long.

What is the best color to wear on a first date?

There is no “ideal” color to wear on a first date, as what one person may find flattering or appealing may not appeal to another. However, tints of blue, green, and pink may be appealing on various skin tones. Always wear something that makes YOU feel confident and at ease; if you have a favorite color, go for it!

What should you never say on a date?

Depending upon the date. If you’re going on a date with someone you don’t know well, you should avoid saying anything that may be seen as insulting or provocative. Save the deep discussions for later occasions. Be more open and talkative if you are on a date with someone you know better. Just use your best judgment.

How do you know if there is chemistry on your first date?

On a first date, there is no foolproof method to determine whether or not there is chemistry, but there are a few indicators you should watch out for. If you believe that you and the other person have a lot in common and are getting along well, it is a good indicator. Similarly, if you both find it simple to converse and smile and enjoy yourself, this is also a positive indicator.

What do you bring on a first date?

It varies on the individual and date. Others may like a more formal date, such as dinner, while others may prefer a more informal date, such as a meeting for coffee.

What should you not wear on a first date?

There are no hard and fast rules about what to wear for a first date, but a few general suggestions can help you feel secure and look your best. For instance, you may want to avoid wearing something overly revealing or bright, which may make you appear too eager or aggressive.

What do guys expect on first date?

This is a question that can vary widely across individuals. Some individuals may expect a more formal date, such as supper at a restaurant, while others may want a more informal outing, such as coffee. The most critical factor is that both sides have the same understanding and expectations.

Do guys care what you wear on a date?

The answer to this question depends on the individual preferences of the guy. However, most men like her to be well-dressed and presentable when going on a date with a lady. This does not imply that you must wear something extravagant or expensive, but it is always appreciated when you make an effort with your look.

Are jeans OK for a first date?

Jeans are acceptable attire for a first date. They are casual and comfy, making them ideal for an informal first encounter. Simply ensure they are in decent shape and not too faded or torn.

Is it weird to hold hands on a first date?

There is no correct response to this question, as the decision is totally up to the pair. As a symbol of affection and closeness, some couples like to hold hands, while others find it unpleasant or uncomfortable. It depends on the persons involved and their level of comfort.

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Bay Area therapist empowers individuals & relationships. Meryl blends 13+ years of expertise in yoga, meditation & holistic practices to guide clients towards mental wellness & thriving relationships. A passionate advocate for mind-body health, she helps you unlock your best self.

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