If you’re thinking of adopting a French parenting style, there are a few things you need to know.
French parenting is based on the principle that children learn best when they can develop their personalities and skills.
This means that smothering them will only make them worse behaved and spoilt.
French parents are much more hands-off with their children than parents in other countries.
This article will outline 8 tips for new American parents or anyone to help adopt the French parenting style.
What is the Meaning of French Parenting?
French parenting is a term used to describe how parents raise their children in France.
It is based on the belief that children should be allowed to develop at their own pace and express themselves.
French parents also believe it is important to instill a sense of independence in their children from an early age.
In recent years, the parenting style of the French has been under scrutiny by Americans. The book “Bringing up Bébé” by Pamela Druckerman sparked a national conversation about what it means to parent like the French.
The Difference between French and American Parenting
In today’s world, there are many different parenting styles. French and American parenting styles are two of the most popular.
So, what’s the difference between French and American parenting?
There are several key differences between French and American parenting styles.
The first difference is in the way that parents view their children.
French parents see their children as individuals with their own needs and desires. They believe that it is important to teach children how to be independent and self-sufficient.
On the other hand, American parents tend to see their children as extensions of themselves. They are more likely to hover over their children and be more involved in their lives.
Another key difference is in the way that discipline is handled. French parents believe in using positive reinforcement rather than punishment for discipline.
French parents tend to be more relaxed when raising their children. They believe in letting their kids experience life and learn from their mistakes.
French parents also place a lot of emphasis on manners and politeness. They want their children to be well-behaved and respected citizens.
On the other hand, American parents tend to be more hands-on in parenting. They’re always there for their kids, whether helping with homework or taking them to soccer practice.
American parents also tend to be more protective of their children. They want to make sure their kids are always safe and sound.
So, which parenting style is better?
It is no secret that parenting styles vary from country to country. And when it comes to the differences between French and American parenting, there are a few key things to note!
French parents tend to be much more hands-off regarding their children. They believe in letting their kids explore and learn independently without always being right there to guide them.
This can sometimes be a bit of a shock to American parents who are used to a more hands-on approach.
Another big difference is the way that French parents discipline their children. They are much more likely to use positive reinforcement rather than negative punishment.
So, instead of scolding their child for misbehaving, they would praise them for good behavior.
Finally, French parents tend to be more relaxed regarding their children’s bedtimes and screen time.
They believe that it is important for kids to have downtime and wind down before going to bed.
This starkly contrasts the American parenting style, which often has kids going to bed much later and being allowed to watch more TV and use electronic devices.
Overall, there are some key differences between French and American parenting styles.
But both approaches can lead to happy and healthy children.
It’s just a matter of finding what works best for your family!
The Secret to French Parenting
The French have a well-deserved reputation for being great parents. They are often lauded for their ability to instill good habits and manners in their children while maintaining a sense of fun and freedom.
So, what is the secret to French parenting?
1. Communication
One of the most important aspects of French parenting is communication. Parents need to be able to talk to their children openly and honestly about what is happening in their lives. This includes both the good and the bad.
Children should feel like they can come to their parents with any problem, big or small. This open communication will help to build a strong relationship between parent and child.
2. Respect
Another important element of French parenting is respect. Parents must respect their children’s autonomy and independence.
This doesn’t mean that they should be allowed to do whatever they want, but it does mean that they should be given the space to make their own decisions.
Children should also be respected as individuals. This means that parents should avoid comparing them to other children or making them feel like they are not good enough.
3. Authority
Finally, French parents also believe in maintaining a sense of authority. This doesn’t mean that they are authoritarian, but it does mean that they expect their children to obey their rules.
Children not respecting their parents’ authority may find themselves in hot water. But, at the same time, parents should also avoid being too strict or overbearing.
The key to French parenting is finding the right balance between communication, respect, and authority. Following these principles can create a happy and healthy home for your children.
4. They Are Permitted to Undertake Tough Tasks on Their Own
French parents are often praised for their liberal parenting style. This means that French children can undertake challenging tasks independently without constant supervision.
This allows children to develop self-confidence and problem-solving skills
For example, a French child may be required to cook a meal from scratch rather than ask their parents to do it. This teaches them independence and responsibility, two important life skills.
French parents also encourage their children to take part in supervised activities.
For example, they may allow their children to play football with other neighborhood children, even if they are not yet skilled enough to compete on an equal footing. This allows children to develop teamwork skills and socialize with others.
French parenting styles may differ from other cultures, but they successfully raise happy and well-adjusted children.
5. They Are Complimented Sparingly
Regarding parenting, the French have a few things that may surprise those of us raised in the United States. For one, French children are generally complimented sparingly.
Some experts say this is one of the main reasons French children are so well-adjusted and happy.
In France, parents are taught to be mindful of their children’s feelings and not to lavish too many compliments. Instead, they want their children to learn to appreciate what they have by themselves.
This philosophy has led to a generation of French kids who are confident and content with what they have.
Overall, the French approach to parenting is unique and refreshing. It may take some time for American parents, but in the end, it will likely lead to stronger relationships between parents and children.
6. They Are Trained to Sleep Properly and Early as Newborns
Parents in France typically have their babies sleep for a longer period than parents in the United States. Many French parents believe that newborns need more sleep than American babies. This difference in sleep habits can be seen when babies are born.
French babies are typically asleep for nine hours at night by the time they are six months old, while American babies usually only sleep for seven to eight hours. Parents believe this extra hour of sleep will help the baby learn and grow faster.
French newborns also receive a lot of attention from their parents when sleeping. Families will often sit near the baby while he or she sleeps so they can monitor his or her breathing and heartbeat.
This type of close monitoring has been shown to help new mothers learn how to care for their babies properly and prepare them for life outside of the womb.
7. Their Initial Foods Are Fruits and Vegetables
French parents place high importance on the health and well-being of their children. This is why they often feed them a varied and healthy diet of fruits and vegetables from an early age.
French children typically start eating solid foods at around 6 months old, earlier than in many other countries. This way, they get used to consuming different types of food and learn to enjoy healthy meals.
French parents also encourage their children to play with blocks and other objects not typically associated with playing. This type of imaginative play helps young children develop their motor skills and learn how to interact with the world around them.
8. Polite Manners Are Non-Negotiable
French parenting emphasizes polite manners and social graces. This is important for the children’s development and helps them fit in and connect with others.
As a result, French parents often instill these values at an early age. Sticking to these guidelines is not always easy, but it is worth it in the long run.
9. Their Mothers Protect Their Individuality and Independence
French parenting emphasizes polite manners and social graces. This is important for the children’s development and helps them fit in and connect with others. As a result, French parents often instill these values at an early age. Sticking to these guidelines is not always easy, but it is worth it in the long run.
10. Treats Are, in Fact, Treats
French parenting emphasizes polite manners and social graces. This is important for the children’s development and helps them fit in and connect with others. As a result, French parents often instill these values at an early age.
Sticking to these guidelines is not always easy, but it is worth it in the long run.
11. Their Parents Mean It When They Say “No”
French parents mean it when they say “no.” French parents often have a very clear idea of what is best for their children, and they are not afraid to set boundaries. This parenting style can be tough for a child but ultimately leads to better outcomes.
First and foremost, children need to know they cannot always get their way. When children feel they cannot succeed or their efforts are not worth it, they will eventually give up. French parenting teaches kids that hard work and determination are rewarded, which sets them up for success.
Additionally, French parents take the time to explain why something is not possible. For example, if a child wants to play video games all day, a parent might explain that video games can be fun but important (like studying for school).
This type of communication allows kids to understand why things are done the way they are done and helps them build respect for authority figures.
12. They Don’t Perceive the World as a Frightening, Menacing Place
French parents don’t typically perceive the world as a frightening, menacing place. This starkly contrasts the American parenting style, emphasizing the world’s dangers.
French parents are likelier to believe that children can handle difficult situations and should be allowed to experience life’s challenges head-on. This philosophy enables French children to become firm, independent individuals capable of handling difficult situations effectively.
In addition to this “hands-off” parenting style, French parents also tend to emphasize the importance of play. They believe children should have fun and be entertained rather than driven toward academic achievement.
This philosophy results in children who are both well-rounded and able to enjoy life.
French parents also emphasize the importance of taking time for themselves. They realize they can’t do everything independently and need time to relax and escape the kids.
This balance between work and leisure allows French parents to provide a stable home environment while allowing their children some freedom.
The Benefits of French Parenting
In the United States, parents often strive to give their children the best of everything. They work hard to provide them with a good education, extracurricular activities, and material possessions.
But what if there was a different way to parent? What if we focus on giving our children what they need instead of everything?
It turns out that the French have a different approach to parenting than we do in the States. And it just might be the secret to raising well-behaved children and having a close family bond.
The French approach to parenting is based on the belief that children should be treated respectfully. They are seen as individuals with their thoughts and feelings. As such, parents try to guide their children rather than control them.
This doesn’t mean that French parents are permissive. They still have rules and expectations. But, they enforce these rules with reasoning and explanation. This helps children to understand why certain behaviors are expected of them.
French parents also believe in quality over quantity regarding time spent with their children. They are more likely to have fewer children and to invest more time and energy into each child. This allows for a stronger parent-child bond.
So, what are the benefits of this French parenting style?
- Well-behaved children: Because French children are treated with respect and given clear expectations, they are more likely to behave well.
- Close family bond: The close parent-child bond encouraged by the French parenting style leads to a stronger family unit.
- Independent children: French children are taught to be independent and to think for themselves. This helps them to be successful in school and life.
If you’re looking for a different parenting style, the French style may be worth considering. It could be the key to raising well-behaved children and having a close family bond.
How to Implement French Parenting Techniques?
In today’s fast-paced world, it can be difficult to find time to slow down and connect with our kids. But when we make the effort, it’s worth it.
One way to do this is to adopt some of the parenting techniques of the French.
The French have a reputation for being great parents, and it’s not hard to see why. They are consistent, patient, and firm with their children, and these qualities positively impact the kids.
If you want to adopt some of these techniques, here are a few things to remember.
1. Be Consistent
One of the most important things to remember when parenting is consistency. Kids need to know what to expect from their parents, and when there are inconsistencies, it can be confusing and unsettling for them.
If you’re inconsistent with your parenting, your kids will likely be inconsistent with their behavior. So, if you want them to do their homework every night, you must be sure you’re doing it yourself.
If you’re inconsistent, your kids will quickly catch on and take advantage of the situation. They’ll know they can push your buttons and get away with it.
Being consistent doesn’t mean that you can never change your mind. It just means that when you make a change, you must be clear about it and explain it to your kids.
2. Be Patient
Patience is a virtue, and it’s one that all parents need to have. Kids constantly learn and grow and don’t always do things as we want.
If we’re not patient, we’ll get frustrated, likely directed at our kids. They’ll pick up on our negative emotions, making the situation worse.
It’s important to remember that kids are still learning, and they’re bound to make mistakes. We must be patient with them and help them learn from their mistakes.
Being patient doesn’t mean that you have to be a doormat. It means you must be understanding and give your kids the time to learn and grow.
3. Be Firm
While being patient with our kids is important, we also need to be firm. They need to know that there are consequences for their actions and be held accountable.
If we’re too lenient, our kids will take advantage of us. They’ll push our buttons and test our limits.
But if we’re too strict, they’ll feel resentful and rebellious.
Finding a balance is important, and that cannot be easy. But it’s essential to be firm with our kids when it’s warranted.
It’s also important to be firm with ourselves. We need to set boundaries and stick to them. If we don’t, our kids will quickly learn that they can push us around.
4. The Importance of Routine
In France, parenting is all about routine. French parents believe that children thrive when they have a set schedule. This means that meals, bed, and nap times are strictly followed.
Though it may seem like a lot of work to keep up with a strict routine, it pays off in the long run. Children with a routine are more likely to be well-behaved and adapt quickly to new situations.
If you’re considering adopting the French parenting style, know it will require some effort. But stick with it – your children will thank you for it!
5. Meal Times: What, when, and How?
The French have a different approach to meal times than most Americans. The French believe that mealtimes are a time for the family to come together and enjoy a good meal.
There are no strict rules about when or how often you should eat, but the general idea is that meals should be consumed regularly and healthy and well-balanced.
The French also believe that snacking between meals is not a good idea. This is because it can lead to overeating and weight gain.
Instead, the French focus on eating three main meals daily: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. These meals are typically smaller than what we’re used to in the United States, but they are more filling because they are packed with nutrients.
6. Nap Time
French children take mandatory naps every day. This is unheard of in America, where childcare providers often see napping as a waste of time. However, the French believe napping is essential for a child’s development and well-being.
7. Playtime
The French parenting style has been gaining popularity in the United States recently. One reason is that the French believe children should have plenty of time to play.
Playtime is vital for children for several reasons. It helps them to develop their imaginations and to learn how to think creatively. In addition, playing gives children a chance to burn off energy and release any pent-up emotions.
Some experts believe playtime is even more critical for children undergoing a problematic adaptation, such as those adjusting to a new country or culture. That’s because play can help these children to cope with stress and anxiety.
So if you’re thinking about adapting the French parenting style, give your kids plenty of time to play.
8. Bedtime
In addition to mandatory naps, French children have a bedtime routine with a bath and story time. This helps them wind down and prepare for sleep.
American parents could learn much from the French about getting their kids to sleep through the night!
Parenting is a difficult job, but it’s worth it. When we try to be consistent, patient, and firm with our kids, we’re helping them grow into happy and successful adults.
Conclusion
One thing is sure: not all parenting traditions should be followed blindly.
French parenting may be unconventional, but it has given many of us a good example of how even unconventional ways can work well. While other families were taught the importance of strict discipline and routines, French parents taught their little ones that life isn’t always fair.
They also often fail to serve fancy meals in front of their children because they know that food shouldn’t be the priority while raising them. The less-strict approach instills self-confidence in these kids and makes them better decision-makers later in life.
Thus, we should remember this before introducing change or adapting new methods into our daily lives as parents too!
FAQs | What Is French Style Parenting?
How do the French discipline their children?
Every family uniquely disciplines their children. Setting explicit norms and expectations, maintaining consistent discipline, and offering positive reinforcement when children behave well are some superior tactics employed by French parents.
What is the strictest parenting style?
The most stringent parenting approach is authoritarian parenting. Rigorous rules and high levels of control characterize this parenting style. Authoritarian parents tend to be demanding and have high expectations for their children. They frequently use punishment to enforce rules and may be less sensitive to their children’s needs and emotions.
Do French children have tantrums?
Yes, French kids have temper tantrums. Like any other youngster, they can become agitated and throw tantrums when they do not get their way.
Is French parenting a thing?
French parenting, as far as I can tell, is a thing! I’ve read a few books on the topic, and French parents are more easygoing and laid-back than their American counterparts. They also place a high value on fostering excellent manners and a strong work ethic in their children.
Sources
- Pamela Druckerman: Bringing Up Bebe
- Expatica: French Parenting
- Reader’s Digest: 11 Surprising Reasons French Children Are So Well-Behaved
- Scholastic: How Do the French Parent?
- French Together: French Parenting
- The New Yorker: The Secret to French Parenting
- The Guardian: The parenting gap: why French mothers prefer to use the firm smack of authority
- The Atlantic: The Truth About French Parenting (and I Would Know)
- Talkin French: French Parenting: The Secret Behind Well-Behaved Kids in France
Featured Photo by Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash