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What is French Parenting? | 8 Tips for New Parents

How to Raise Your Kids the French Way?

Meryl Roberts by Meryl Roberts
March 18, 2023
in Parenting
Reading Time: 10 mins read
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Home Parenting

If you’re thinking of adopting a French parenting style, there are a few things you need to know.

French parenting is based on the principle that children learn best when they are allowed to develop their own personalities and skills.

This means that smothering them will only make them worse behaved and spoilt.

In fact, French parents tend to be much more hands-off with their children than parents in other countries.

This article will outline 8 tips for new American parents or anyone to help adopt the French parenting style successfully.

Page Contents

  • What is the Meaning of French Parenting?
  • The Difference between French and American Parenting
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    • 14 Ways to THRIVE as a Single Mother (Not Just Survive)
    • 5 Ways to Identify And Play to Your Child’s Strengths
  • The Secret to French Parenting
    • 1. Communication
    • 2. Respect
    • 3. Authority
    • 4. They Are Permitted to Undertake Tough Tasks on Their Own
    • 5. They Are Complimented Sparingly
    • 6. They Are Trained to Sleep Properly and Early as Newborns
    • 7. Their Initial Foods Are Fruits and Vegetables
    • 8. Polite Manners Are Non-Negotiable
    • 9. Their Mothers Protect Their Individuality and Independence
    • 10. Treats Are, in Fact, Treats
    • 11. Their Parents Mean It when They Say “No”
    • 12. They Don’t Perceive the World as a Frightening, Menacing Place
  • The Benefits of French Parenting
  • How to Implement French Parenting Techniques?
    • 1. Be Consistent
    • 2. Be Patient
    • 3. Be Firm
    • 4. The Importance of Routine
    • 5. Meal Times: What, when, and How?
    • 6. Nap Time
    • 7. Playtime
    • 8. Bedtime
  • Conclusion
  • FAQs | What Is French Style Parenting?
    • How do the French discipline their children?
    • What is the strictest parenting style?
    • Do French children have tantrums?
    • Is French parenting a thing?

What is the Meaning of French Parenting?

French parenting is a term used to describe the way in which parents raise their children in France.

It is based on the belief that children should be allowed to develop at their own pace, and that they should be given the freedom to express themselves.

French parents also believe that it is important to instill a sense of independence in their children from an early age.

In recent years, the parenting style of the French has been under scrutiny by Americans. The book “Bringing up Bébé” by Pamela Druckerman sparked a national conversation about what it means to parent like the French.

The Difference between French and American Parenting

In today’s world, there are many different parenting styles. French and American parenting styles are two of the most popular.

So, what’s the difference between French and American parenting?

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There are several key differences between French and American parenting styles.

The first difference is in the way that parents view their children.

French parents see their children as individuals with their own needs and desires. They believe that it is important to teach children how to be independent and self-sufficient.

American parents, on the other hand, tend to see their children as extensions of themselves. They are more likely to hover over their children and be more involved in their lives.

Another key difference is in the way that discipline is handled. French parents believe in using positive reinforcement rather than punishment when it comes to discipline.

French parents tend to be more relaxed when it comes to raising their children. They believe in letting their kids experience life and learn from their mistakes.

French parents also place a lot of emphasis on manners and politeness. They want their children to be well-behaved and respected citizens.

American parents, on the other hand, tend to be more hands-on when it comes to parenting. They’re always there for their kids, whether it’s helping with homework or taking them to soccer practice.

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American parents also tend to be more protective of their children. They want to make sure their kids are always safe and sound.

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So, which parenting style is better?

It is no secret that parenting styles vary from country to country. And, when it comes to the differences between French and American parenting, there are definitely a few key things to take note of!

For starters, French parents tend to be much more hands-off when it comes to their children. They believe in letting their kids explore and learn on their own, without always being right there to guide them.

This can sometimes be a bit of a shock to American parents who are used to a more hands-on approach.

Another big difference is the way that French parents discipline their children. They are much more likely to use positive reinforcement rather than negative punishment.

So, instead of scolding their child for misbehaving, they would praise them for good behavior.

Finally, French parents also tend to be a bit more relaxed when it comes to their children’s bedtimes and screen time.

They believe that it is important for kids to have downtime and to wind down before going to bed.

This is in stark contrast to the American parenting style which often has kids going to bed much later and being allowed to watch more TV and use electronic devices.

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Overall, there are definitely some key differences between French and American parenting styles.

But, at the end of the day, both approaches can lead to happy and healthy children.

It’s just a matter of finding what works best for your family!

The Secret to French Parenting

The French have a well-deserved reputation for being great parents. They are often lauded for their ability to instill good habits and manners in their children, while still maintaining a sense of fun and freedom.

So, what is the secret to French parenting?

Three main elements of french parenting
Three main elements of french parenting

1. Communication

One of the most important aspects of French parenting is communication. Parents need to be able to talk to their children openly and honestly about what is happening in their lives. This includes both the good and the bad.

Children should feel like they can come to their parents with any problem, big or small. This open communication will help to build a strong relationship between parent and child.

2. Respect

Another important element of French parenting is respect. Parents must respect their children’s autonomy and independence.

This doesn’t mean that they should be allowed to do whatever they want, but it does mean that they should be given the space to make their own decisions.

Children should also be respected as individuals. This means that parents should avoid comparing them to other children or making them feel like they are not good enough.

3. Authority

~ Must Read ~10 Steps to Effective Parenting

Finally, French parents also believe in maintaining a sense of authority. This doesn’t mean that they are authoritarian, but it does mean that they expect their children to obey their rules.

Children who do not respect their parents’ authority may find themselves in hot water. But, at the same time, parents should also avoid being too strict or overbearing.

The key to French parenting is finding the right balance between communication, respect, and authority. By following these principles, you can create a happy and healthy home for your children.

4. They Are Permitted to Undertake Tough Tasks on Their Own

French parents are often praised for their liberal parenting style. This means that French children are permitted to undertake tough tasks on their own, rather than needing constant supervision.

This allows children to develop self-confidence and problem-solving skills

For example, a French child may be required to cook a meal from scratch, rather than asking their parents to do it for them. This teaches them independence and responsibility, two important life skills.

French parents also encourage their children to take part in supervised activities.

For example, they may allow their children to play football with other neighborhood children, even if they are not yet skilled enough to compete on an equal footing. This allows children to develop teamwork skills and socialize with others.

French parenting styles may be different from those of other cultures, but they have been found to be successful in raising happy and well-adjusted children.

5. They Are Complimented Sparingly

When it comes to parenting, the French have a few things that may surprise those of us raised in the United States. For one, French children are generally complimented sparingly.

In fact, some experts say that this is one of the main reasons why French children are so well-adjusted and happy.

In France, parents are taught to be mindful of their children’s feelings and not to lavish too many compliments on them. Instead, they want their children to learn to appreciate what they have by themselves.

This philosophy has led to a generation of French kids who are confident and content with what they have.

Overall, the French approach to parenting is unique and refreshing. It may take some getting used to for American parents, but in the end, it will likely lead to stronger relationships between parents and children.

6. They Are Trained to Sleep Properly and Early as Newborns

Parents in France typically have their babies sleep for a longer period of time than parents in the United States. Many French parents believe that newborns need more sleep than American babies. This difference in sleep habits can be seen from the time babies are born.

French babies are typically asleep for nine hours at night by the time they are six months old, while American babies usually only sleep for seven to eight hours at night. Parents believe that this extra hour of sleep will help the baby learn and grow faster.

French newborns also receive a lot of attention from their parents when they are sleeping. Families will often sit near the baby while he or she sleeps so they can monitor his or her breathing and heartbeat.

This type of close monitoring has been shown to help new mothers learn how to care for their babies properly and get them ready for life outside of the womb.

7. Their Initial Foods Are Fruits and Vegetables

French parents place high importance on the health and well-being of their children. This is why they often feed them a varied and healthy diet of fruits and vegetables from an early age.

French children typically start eating solid foods at around 6 months old, which is earlier than in many other countries. This way, they get used to consuming different types of food and learn to enjoy healthy meals.

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French parents also encourage their children to play with blocks and other objects that are not typically associated with playing. This type of imaginative play helps young children develop their motor skills and learn how to interact with the world around them.

8. Polite Manners Are Non-Negotiable

French parenting emphasizes polite manners and social graces. This is not only important for the children’s development but also helps them to fit in and connect with other people

As a result, French parents often instill these values at an early age. It is not always easy to stick to these guidelines, but it is definitely worth it in the long run.

9. Their Mothers Protect Their Individuality and Independence

French parenting emphasizes polite manners and social graces. This is not only important for the children’s development but also helps them to fit in and connect with other people. As a result, French parents often instill these values at an early age. It is not always easy to stick to these guidelines, but it is definitely worth it in the long run.

10. Treats Are, in Fact, Treats

French parenting emphasizes polite manners and social graces. This is not only important for the children’s development, but also helps them to fit in and connect with other people. As a result, French parents often instill these values at an early age.

It is not always easy to stick to these guidelines, but it is definitely worth it in the long run.

11. Their Parents Mean It when They Say “No”

French parents mean it when they say “no.” French parents often have a very clear idea of what is best for their children, and they are not afraid to set boundaries. This type of parenting style can be tough for a child, but it ultimately leads to better outcomes.

First and foremost, children need to know that they cannot always get their way. When children feel like they cannot succeed or that their efforts are not worth it, they will eventually give up. French parenting teaches kids that hard work and determination are rewarded, which sets them up for success in life.

Additionally, French parents take the time to explain why something is not possible. For example, if a child wants to play video games all day long, a parent might explain that video games can be fun but also important (like studying for school).

This type of communication allows kids to understand why things are done the way they are done and helps them build respect for authority figures.

12. They Don’t Perceive the World as a Frightening, Menacing Place

French parents don’t typically perceive the world as a frightening, menacing place. This is in stark contrast to the American parenting style, which tends to emphasize the dangers of the world.

French parents are more likely to believe that children can handle difficult situations and that they should be allowed to experience life’s challenges head-on. This philosophy enables French children to become strong, independent individuals who are capable of handling difficult situations effectively.

In addition to this “hands-off” parenting style, French parents also tend to emphasize the importance of play. They believe that children should have fun and be entertained rather than being driven toward academic achievement.

This philosophy results in children who are both well-rounded and able to enjoy life.

French parents also emphasize the importance of taking time for themselves. They realize that they can’t do everything on their own and need time to relax and get away from the kids.

This balance between work and leisure allows French parents to provide a stable home environment while also allowing their children some freedom.

The Benefits of French Parenting

In the United States, parents often strive to give their children the best of everything. They work hard to provide them with a good education, extracurricular activities, and material possessions.

But what if there was a different way to parent? What if instead of trying to give our children everything, we focus on giving them what they really need?

It turns out that the French have a different approach to parenting than we do in the States. And, it just might be the secret to raising well-behaved children and having a close family bond.

The French approach to parenting is based on the belief that children should be treated with respect. They are seen as individuals with their own thoughts and feelings. As such, parents try to guide their children rather than control them.

~ Must Read ~How to Respectfully Parent Your Children and Raise Them to be Good Adults

This doesn’t mean that French parents are permissive. They still have rules and expectations. But, they enforce these rules with reasoning and explanation. This helps children to understand why certain behaviors are expected of them.

French parents also believe in quality over quantity when it comes to time spent with their children. They are more likely to have fewer children and to invest more time and energy into each child. This allows for a stronger parent-child bond.

So, what are the benefits of this French parenting style?

  1. Well-behaved children: Because French children are treated with respect and given clear expectations, they are more likely to behave well.
  2. Close family bond: The close parent-child bond that is encouraged by the French parenting style leads to a stronger family unit.
  3. Independent children: French children are taught to be independent and to think for themselves. This helps them to be successful in school and in life.

If you’re looking for a different way to parent, the French style may be worth considering. It could be the key to raising well-behaved children and having a close family bond.

How to Implement French Parenting Techniques?

In today’s fast-paced world, it can be difficult to find time to slow down and really connect with our kids. But when we make the effort, it’s worth it.

One way to do this is to adopt some of the parenting techniques of the French.

The French have a reputation for being great parents, and it’s not hard to see why. They are consistent, patient, and firm with their children, and these qualities have a positive impact on the kids.

If you’re interested in adopting some of these techniques, here are a few things to keep in mind.

1. Be Consistent

One of the most important things to remember when parenting is to be consistent. Kids need to know what to expect from their parents, and when there are inconsistencies, it can be confusing and unsettling for them.

If you’re inconsistent with your parenting, your kids will likely be inconsistent with their behavior. So, if you want them to do their homework every night, you need to be sure that you’re doing it yourself.

If you’re not consistent, your kids will quickly catch on and start taking advantage of the situation. They’ll know that they can push your buttons and get away with it.

Being consistent doesn’t mean that you can never change your mind. It just means that when you do make a change, you need to be clear about it and explain it to your kids.

2. Be Patient

Patience is a virtue, and it’s one that all parents need to have. Kids are constantly learning and growing, and they don’t always do things the way we want them to.

If we’re not patient, we’ll get frustrated, and that frustration will likely be directed at our kids. They’ll pick up on our negative emotions, and it will make the situation worse.

It’s important to remember that kids are still learning, and they’re bound to make mistakes. We need to be patient with them and help them learn from their mistakes.

Being patient doesn’t mean that you have to be a doormat. It just means that you need to be understanding and give your kids the time they need to learn and grow.

3. Be Firm

While it’s important to be patient with our kids, we also need to be firm. They need to know that there are consequences for their actions, and they need to be held accountable.

If we’re too lenient, our kids will take advantage of us. They’ll push our buttons and test our limits.

But if we’re too strict, they’ll feel resentful and rebellious.

It’s important to find a balance, and that can be difficult. But it’s important to be firm with our kids when it’s warranted.

~ Must Read ~You Won't Believe What Happens When You Tell Kids to Behave

It’s also important to be firm with ourselves. We need to set boundaries and stick to them. If we don’t, our kids will quickly learn that they can push us around.

4. The Importance of Routine

In France, parenting is all about routine. French parents believe that children thrive when they have a set schedule. This means that meals, bed, and nap times are strictly adhered to.

Though it may seem like a lot of work to keep up with a strict routine, it pays off in the long run. Children with a routine are more likely to be well-behaved and adapt quickly to new situations.

If you’re thinking of adapting the French parenting style, know that it will require some effort. But stick with it – your children will thank you for it!

5. Meal Times: What, when, and How?

The French have a different approach to meal times than most Americans. The French believe that mealtimes are a time for the family to come together and enjoy a good meal.

There are no strict rules about when or how often you should eat, but the general idea is that meals should be consumed regularly and healthy and well-balanced.

The French also believe that snacking between meals is not a good idea. This is because it can lead to overeating and weight gain.

Instead, the French focus on eating three main meals daily: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. These meals are typically smaller than what we’re used to in the United States, but they are more filling because they are packed with nutrients.

6. Nap Time

French children take mandatory naps every day. This is unheard of in America, where childcare providers often see napping as a waste of time. However, the French believe napping is essential for a child’s development and well-being.

7. Playtime

In recent years, the French parenting style has been gaining popularity in the United States. One reason is that the French believe children should have plenty of time to play.

Playtime is vital for children for several reasons. It helps them to develop their imaginations and to learn how to think creatively. In addition, playing gives children a chance to burn off energy and release any pent-up emotions.

Some experts believe playtime is even more critical for children undergoing a difficult adaptation, such as those adjusting to a new country or culture. That’s because play can help these children to cope with stress and anxiety.

So if you’re thinking about adapting the French style of parenting, be sure to give your kids plenty of time to play.

8. Bedtime

In addition to mandatory naps, French children have a bedtime routine that includes a bath and story time. This helps them wind down and prepare for sleep.

American parents could learn a lot from the French when it comes to getting their kids to sleep through the night!

Parenting is a difficult job, but it’s one that’s worth it. When we make the effort to be consistent, patient, and firm with our kids, we’re helping them to grow into happy and successful adults.

Conclusion

One thing is sure: when it comes to parenting, not all traditions should be followed blindly.

French parenting may be unconventional but it has been able to give many of us a good example of how even unconventional ways can work well. Where other families were taught the importance of strict discipline and strict routines, French parents taught their little ones that life isn’t always fair.

They also often fail to serve fancy meals in front of their children because they know that food shouldn’t be the priority while raising them. The less-strict approach instills self-confidence in these kids and make them better decision makers later on in life.

Thus, we should keep this in mind before introducing change or adapting new methods into our daily lives as parents as well!

FAQs | What Is French Style Parenting?

How do the French discipline their children?

Every family disciplines their children in a unique way. Setting explicit norms and expectations, maintaining consistent discipline, and offering positive reinforcement when children behave well are some superior tactics employed by French parents.

What is the strictest parenting style?

The most stringent parenting approach is authoritarian parenting. This parenting style is characterized by rigorous rules and high levels of control. Authoritarian parents tend to be demanding and have high expectations for their children. They frequently use punishment to enforce rules and may be less sensitive to their children’s needs and emotions.

Do French children have tantrums?

Yes, French kids have temper tantrums. Like any other youngster, they can become agitated and throw tantrums when they do not get their way.

Is French parenting a thing?

French parenting, as far as I can tell, is a thing! I’ve read a few books on the topic, and it appears French parents are more easygoing and laid-back than their American counterparts. They also place a high value on fostering excellent manners and a strong work ethic in their children.

Sources

  1. Pamela Druckerman: Bringing Up Bebe
  2. Expatica: French Parenting
  3. Reader’s Digest: 11 Surprising Reasons French Children Are So Well-Behaved
  4. Scholastic: How Do the French Parent?
  5. French Together: French Parenting
  6. The New Yorker: The Secret to French Parenting
  7. The Guardian: The parenting gap: why French mothers prefer to use the firm smack of authority
  8. The Atlantic: The Truth About French Parenting (and I Would Know)
  9. Talkin French: French Parenting: The Secret Behind Well-Behaved Kids in France

Featured Photo by Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash

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Meryl Roberts

Meryl Roberts

Meryl is a relationship, parenting, yoga, and mental wellness specialist with 13 years of experience in the Bay Area. She has helped countless people improve their relationships and mental health through yoga, meditation, and other holistic methods. She is highly passionate about her work, and strongly believes that a healthy mind and body are essential to a happy life.

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